While in 7th grade in Amery Public Schools, my teacher and I spent an afternoon at work on our schoolwork. Soon the air was disturbed by air coming out someone’s butt. Told with class, I hope, and a vivid memory.
Humor
“Growing Up in Amery”: NOW Available on Amazon
“Growing Up in Amery”: NOW Available on Amazon
Amery stories are out on Amazon, and the book only costs a buck. The stories are from my childhood, some fictionalized, some 100% true. This is not a history of Amery, and you do not have to know about Amery to enjoy this memoir. Sampling of the Stories in the Book — Amery–The City of […]
The Guy in the Song Who Drove Through Phoenix
The Guy in the Song Who Drove Through Phoenix
The song about Phoenix was minimal, the implications many, and “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” was a Glen Campbell hit before 1970. This Jimmy Webb song was based on a real incident, and in the mid 60s Johnny River sang it before Glenn Campbell made it even more famous. The traveler, let’s call him […]
Pea Shooter Wakes Up Workers: true history
Pea Shooter Wakes Up Workers: true history
Peashooter as a job. Waking up shift workers in industrial England became a profession, a way to earn money. Using a variety of methods, they woke up people who had contracted with the “wakers”. Early attempts at waking people up meant knocking on room doors, but neighbors complained about the noise in the hallway. The […]
Gladys and Henry Prepare and Perform on Easter Sunday
Gladys and Henry Prepare and Perform on Easter Sunday
Singing at Easter. Above, Henry and Gladys Armitage prepare for the service tomorrow at Our Savior’s Lutheran in Amery. For the last 15 years Henry has sung the Old Rugged Cross on Easter Sunday. (At Christmas, his special song is “O, Holy Night”). They’re cramming on this evening, not having worked on the song as […]
The In-laws are Coming for the Weekend
The In-laws are Coming for the Weekend
The in-laws are coming this weekend, for Easter, and they’ll do as they often do. “We don’t need beds” they once said years ago when I didn’t know them that well. I asked my wife Marilyn what that meant, and she said, you’ll see. Hard to describe, and then they arrived. They looked normal, I […]
Ebook Growing Up in Amery Soon Available
Ebook Growing Up in Amery Soon Available
New ebook available soon: Growing Up in Amery Please spread the word about the Elkfarm blog. If you enjoy the stories and photos, please pass the word to friends and family. The number of hits, openings, is not that high right now, and I feel like this poor wall climber just hanging on. (smiley face) […]
The Sexy Lady Just Wanted to Chat
The Sexy Lady Just Wanted to Chat
The friendly and sexy lady told me her name was Joyce, and she asked to be my friend on Facebook. That’s a process where someone clicks on a request and it goes out to the asked person. She looked pretty, she was young and voluptuous. Her face shouted: I’d sure like to be your buddy. […]
Clotheslines: Rules, Social Norms, and a Poem
Clotheslines: Rules, Social Norms, and a Poem
Hanging clothes on a clothesline. Simple, yes. Not always. Rules in each neighborhood and cultural region meant hanging had dos and don’ts. For us living in the country, it wasn’t so rigorous and rigid because neighbors were far away. Keillor and Bachelor Farmers First of all, one reference to hanging clothes and items son the […]
The Mile High Club in 7th Grade–Final
The Mile High Club in 7th Grade–Final
East of Amery a group of pre-7th graders gathered bravely to test weapons. We started a Mile High Club, not knowing that in the world outside of Amery it had a completely different meaning. Ours had nothing to do with airplanes or jets. The summer before our 7th grade year at Amery, a few of us […]
Christmas in Our Minds and Our Attics, Plus a Poem
Christmas in Our Minds and Our Attics, Plus a Poem
Christmas memories share a connection to tangible Christmas decorations. Each year at Thanksgiving, or earlier, we hear Christmas music and notice homeowners setting up outdoor displays for the holidays. Several years ago when I thought about those memories, I realized that taking them out of the attic paralleled opening up our mental Christmas vault. The […]
Underbed Fear, a Different Angle
Underbed Fear, a Different Angle
Under Billy’s bed a form emerged from a sizeable rat hole. Dark hits early in January, and in order to survive, land urchins needed to rest in warm overnight air. Ishda was only in his 12th year, just a baby. Billy loved going to bed, no fears ever. With his ball kerosene lantern throwing off […]
A Master Horseman Visits My Farm: Final
A Master Horseman Visits My Farm: Final
“I know horses. I’ve been around them my whole life.” His long, stringy pony tail and Harley vest with the misspelled Harly set this confident man apart from others who came to check out my pet horse. Looking for a small pony for his granddaughter, my mare Lilly might just be what he wanted. Along […]
Nasty Carl Calls his Teacher: Updated
Nasty Carl Calls his Teacher: Updated
Little Carl is confident, quite self assured, and often thinks he can call the shots when dealing with adults. Carl, called nasty by most who know him, soon will begin 4th grade. He calls his new teacher to get the power structure worked out before the first day of school. If you want to read […]
Don’t Chase That Horse! Updated
Don’t Chase That Horse! Updated
Our horse Lilly escaped her enclosure on a beautiful summer day. I spotted her across the road at the boat landing parking lot, dining on lush virgin grass. Grabbing the rope to lead her back, a young fellow pulled into the parking lot ahead of me. I knew he was bright, because he said: “Hey, […]