Why English Teachers Look Frazzled, like a baseball that doesn’t have its leather coat and has been sitting out in the rain.
This is a list of submitted actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
13. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
14. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind of look you get from not eating for awhile.
15. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
16. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.